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| the actor |
| 06.03.05 (11:14 pm) [edit] |
|
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 06.03.05 (5:29 pm)
Hahaha. This is fun. Sweatin' to the oldies.....
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.03.05 (7:33 pm)
At the risk of repeating myself, I find it odd that no matter how many times I rearrange the letters in latent... there's simply no talent to be found. Imagine that??
I can't help but feel as though someone has just shit in my shoe.
~~~~~~~~
The gap in the teeth might be my favorite bit. Although, there's something about the tank-top.
Instantly recognizable. Yet another masterpiece captured within the pages of the dream dictionary.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:51 am)
Again... I beg forgiveness, as the sheer length of this one requires multiple posts.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:51 am)
On the day Greg was born, his mother paraded his little naked tooshie around the hospital ~ beaming with pride.
“This is my little prince, Greg” she said. “He’s going to be famous.”
“For what?” one of the other mothers asked. “What’s he going to do? What’s he going to be?”
Greg’s mother had to admit she didn’t know. Nor did she really care. “He’s just going to be famous,” she said finally. Her faith in her perfect little man was the best kind: blind.
~~~~~~~~~
Greg took a seat in the back behind the girl with the tattoo on her neck: a bit of cheese.
He hated acting class. He wasn’t quite sure what anything that they did in this room had to do with acting as he knew it. But he went. He went because as much as he hated sitting in a room filled with actors honing their craft, he hated sitting in the audition room with them even more.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:52 am)
Early on, Greg had changed his name. Greg Lipshitz, his agent told him, was not the kind of name studio executives placed above the title. It wasn’t the kind of name they engraved into the side of Golden Globes. Nor, most notably, was it the kind of name they stamped into a star on the walk of fame. So he changed it. Now he was Lars. Lars Weston. When he told his agent of his choice, the portly, sweaty man just grinned through greasy lips, “you’re gonna be a star, baby.”
Unfortunately, the new name didn’t seem to improve things. He’d gotten a few roles sure.
He’d played…
Greg Taylor, an advertising executive having problems making a collect call in a series of four television commercials. Only one made it on air.
He’d played…
Greg Applebaum, the estranged, gimp-legged cousin of Tim Allen’s wife in the pilot for “Some Things Just Can’t Be Fixed: A Home Improvement Reunion.” (The show became very popular again in Germany, but David Hasslehoff was hired to replace him in subsequent episodes).
He’d played…
Greg McCabe (AKA Victim #1) in Halloween XIXXVI: This Time It’s Redundant. The director said Greg’s performance “made him wince,” but in the final version, Greg’s line’s were cut in favor of a CGI decapitation.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:52 am)
But something was wrong.
No matter how many Gregs Lars managed to play, he remained unsatisfied. This was not his destiny. He knew where he belonged: Center Stage. Nothing else would do. He didn’t care how many times he had to change his name and vie for the attention of someone whose own name had probably already gone through multiple drafts. He was ready for his close-up, Mr. Deville.
“Um… Mr. Lipshitz?? Are you with us?”
Greg, who had been busy writing his name over and over again in his notebook, looked up at his acting coach Parker Preston whose face was contorted in an expression of clear irritation.
“Yeah, Sorry.” Greg muttered.
Parker sighed. “As I was saying, Mr. Lipshitz, the key to creating ‘the believable moment’ is to tap into ‘the emotional memory’ that you most associate with the feeling you need to convey in order to be real to your audience. No matter what role you are playing, you must be real to them. An audience needs to believe you not understand you.”
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:53 am)
Parker paused. Greg continued writing his name.
“Now, I need a few people to come down here and help me demonstrate this aspect of the Stanislovsky Method. Mr. Lipshitz, you’ve been chosen”
Greg was confused. He didn’t understand what catholic birth control had to do with acting, but he lumbered to the stage along with the several other names who had been drawn from the hat.
“Ok,” Parker instructed, tapping a pencil against the palm of his hand. “In a few moments I’m going to ask you to play a scene in which you feel empathy for another character. In this scene, the tragedy is not yours. The drama is not yours. The limelight is not yours. However, your role is vital. Your sincere empathy helps make the primary character’s plight more believable. In order to prepare… search within yourself for ‘the emotional moment.’ If you’re going to be real, you must tap into some moment from your past in which you felt or recognized true empathy. Alright. You have ten minutes to find yourself.”
Greg looked at the other actors. They had all closed their eyes, so he did the same. He thought about the word: EMPATHY. It was a funny looking word.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:53 am)
Just then… his cell phone rang.
Parker threw he pencil against the wall swearing.
Greg shrugged and answered the call: “Hello?”
“Lars, baby!” The voice of his agent boomed on the phone, cracking the silence into prickly shards of nab-dust. “I just got the call. You’ve been cast as Greg Dolt on a new daytime soap opera. It’s the pefect role, baby. You play, get this, a struggling actor who finds solace in the creation of an online alter-ego. It’s like a modern Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. And you get to play both roles, baby.”
Greg’s eyes sparkled. He looked at Parker’s scarlet face and to the faces of the other actors. Other actors who were not going to play Greg Dolt.
“Fuck this shit.” He announced proudly.
“I’m gonna be famous.”
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (2:54 am)
The End. :)
posted by: BerlinBear (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (6:29 am)
Great drawing tJ, I like this one A LOT. I especially love the 'fro. It's obvious that a whole lot of teasing and care and attention have gone into it.
I like Juni's story a lot too.
Unfortunately, to my eye/ear, the two do not fit together. Unless of course, this sparkly, spandexy, oh so latent 'fro wearer was in the acting class and remained largely undescribed in juni's story. Juni's Greg/Lars is fantastic, but I don't reckon it can be this fellow.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (9:37 am)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Actually... greg/lars just reminds me a great deal of the boy with the fro. They share a certain... hmmm... latent aesthetic, if nothing else.
:)
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (3:02 pm)
Reply to: juniperflux
Buwah! Oh my gosh...
I have to go back and read this again...
Oh, and ams... that is the most hilarious likeness I've ever seen. It rocks. Strangely... he resembles another blogger I've seen around here... a bloke who is partial to poo in his shoes and who is lucky enough to have a bit of Yoda mixed in to his features... it's quite something...
posted by: TheJongleur (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (3:04 pm)
Reply to: altricial
You spot him?
Ta
posted by: TheJongleur (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (3:13 pm)
Reply to: juniperflux
Wonderful stuff.
Favourite bit?
Nab-dust........ baby.
I love it.
posted by: TheJongleur (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (3:16 pm)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Thank you, sir.
Though.. I quite like to think of the hair as just one of those wonders of nature.
Can you tell who it is yet?
posted by: TheJongleur (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (3:17 pm)
Reply to: lindy
Oh... you -definitely- see him.
posted by: BerlinBear (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (3:48 pm)
Reply to: TheJongleur
*sigh* No. Sadly, as ever, I am missing key pieces of information and/or a key bit of insight.
No change there then.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (6:44 pm)
Reply to: TheJongleur
And all their fears turned to nab-dust.
I suppose it's better than a bucket of chitterlings, no?
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.04.05 (6:45 pm)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Hint: As Mrs. Bear is a Yank, I bet she'd know who our mystery boy is.
posted by: BerlinBear (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (1:14 am)
Reply to: juniperflux
Ms Bear reckons she knows who it is. I know that person too, but hadn't made the connection. It's been a while since I saw him. A long while. Certainly that would explain the sparkly, spandexy and latent bits as well as the fro being a work of nature (and it sheds new light on alt's comment), but the shit in the shoe, and the agent story are still all Greek to me. Ah well, I think I'm going to shut up now.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (1:49 am)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Aaaah. Well, you're getting close, eh? Let me send you one more quest. Ask Ms. Lindy about the other connections. I'm sure she'll offer some very colorful insight. :)
j
posted by: BerlinBear (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (1:51 am)
Reply to: juniperflux
Beat you to it.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (2:00 am)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Well then... apparently you are "in the loop," after all. Good show.
j
posted by: BerlinBear (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (2:09 am)
Reply to: juniperflux
No not yet. But hopefully I will be when lindy replies in due course. For now I continue to muddle along in my ignorance.
posted by: juniperflux (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (2:13 am)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Perhaps I will take it upon myself to spread the word your way... :)
posted by: TheJongleur (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (3:08 pm)
Reply to: juniperflux
Infinitely better, dear.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 06.05.05 (8:53 pm)
Reply to: BerlinBear
Everyone pull out your bows and draw them right across me. I'm really that easy to play!
I'm pleased I could oblige. :)